Help parents and caregivers keep kids focused, interested, and balanced while learning from home.
As we embark on starting school virtually this year, here are some tips to help you keep your child focused and interested while learning from home.
Setting Up for Success
Make a space.
- Create a special, personalized corner of a room dedicated to
learning, creating, and reading. Use a movable box or crate if space is
precious. Let your kid help prepare the space for school, even if that
just means putting a decorated pencil box next to the device they'll be
using. Getting the space ready will help them get ready to learn.
Set a routine.
- Little kids need more structure, so make sure to let them know what
to expect. You can create a visual schedule they can follow. Older kids
can use a calendar, planner, chalkboard, or digital organizer to keep track of what's happening each day.
- Have them follow a routine as if they're going to school (getting
dressed, brushing teeth, etc.) instead of lying in bed in their pajamas,
which could lead to less learning.
- Breaks are really important, especially for kids with learning and
attention issues, so make sure to build those in and break assignments
into smaller pieces.
Review expectations.
- Go over what the school and teachers expect around online learning. Fill out this digital learning pledge with your young kids or co-create a learning agreement with tweens and teens to help set the tone for distance learning.
- Set some expectations of your own as well. When can your kid expect
to spend time with you? When should they avoid interrupting you? What
can they do in their downtime? Come up with a list of "must dos" and
"may dos" together to cover the essentials and activities of choice.
- If kids are sharing devices with siblings, make sure they understand
how the devices are to be shared, including who gets to do what on the
device and when.
Staying Focused
Keep them close.
- When it's hard for your kid to focus, try to keep them close.
Consider setting up nonverbal or one-word cues to help get them back on
track.
- Depending on your circumstances, it may not be possible to keep your
kid in sight all the time, but it'll definitely be harder to keep them
on track if they're in their room with the door closed, so try to get
your eyeballs on them as much as possible.
Encourage self-regulation.
- Talk to kids about the connection between bodies and brains and what
happens in their bodies when they feel frustrated, excited, or sad.
This awareness helps kids recognize and manage their emotions.
- If you have other devices in your house, keep them out of your kid's
workspace if possible. This can also mean shutting down phones, keeping
phones in a designated place for the day, and putting away remotes if
temptation takes over.
Play pretend.
- Little kids feeling at loose ends might respond to some role
playing. Cast your kid in the role of work partner, teacher, or
researcher to help them stick to a task (and let you stick to yours!).
- Though older kids won't want to play pretend, they may respond to an
honest conversation about taking on more responsibility (like chores,
self-regulation, etc.) because they're older and gaining maturity. You
might be surprised how they rise to the challenge in response.
Encouraging Ownership & Effort
Follow kids' interests and get input.
- If there are gaps in your kid's school day, remember that whatever your kid is into -- animals, Minecraft, magic -- can be used for learning. Read books, create science experiments, and do math related to favorite topics. Wide Open School has great choices, too!
- When deciding how to structure the day, ask kids what they prefer.
Try to incorporate their choices into the plan. For instance, if math is
the hardest subject for your kid, would they rather do it first or
last? Why? Check in with them regularly about how distance learning is
going.
- Communicate with your kid's teacher, and encourage them to
self-advocate for what they need. And model communication about your
day, including the positives, challenges, and kindnesses.
Display work.
- Let kids hang up their drawings, writing, or other projects in your
home. It shows them you're proud of their work and helps them value
their learning.
- Even big kids like when you show pride in their work by bragging
about their efforts and showing off their work. (But always ask before
you post anything!)
Give detailed praise.
- Instead of saying "good job," try giving specific details about your
kid's work. If they tried hard, let them know you noticed. Have they
made progress? Used a new technique? In what ways are their efforts
kind, clever, beautiful, or insightful?
- Also, encourage a growth mindset, which means reminding kids that
it's not about being good or bad at something, but working toward
getting better at it.
Managing Motivation
Start from strengths.
- Build a bridge from things your kid loves to school subjects they
don't love -- yet. If they love sports but dislike reading, find a graphic novel
about soccer to spark interest. Your kid's teacher can likely help with
this, too, but they might need to communicate with you (and maybe your
kid), to get the necessary information.
Presentation is everything.
- How you present an activity makes a huge difference in how kids feel
about it. For little kids, whenever you can, frame tasks as games to
make them more fun. Need to sort the laundry? Challenge your kid to a
throwing contest of tossing clothes into the right pile. Or, let them
use pieces of cereal as manipulatives for math problems and eat them
when they've finished a problem.
- Sometimes tweens and teens seem to have a "bad attitude" that's
really masking insecurity, boredom, or anxiety. They're often hoping
we'll help them through it, even when it seems just the opposite.
Staying calm, not taking things personally, and maintaining a sense of
humor can go a long way.
Use natural consequences.
- While it might be tempting to "reward" your kid with screen use,
that can set kids up to see screens as a coveted commodity. Instead, you
can frame it as a timing issue: "We have three hours in the evening, so
if you put strong effort into your work and finish, you'll have time to
play your video game."
- If intrinsic motivation is hard to come by, you can incentivize
effort and progress in a way that makes sense. Come up with ideas with
your kid, set benchmarks, and praise the process along the way.
Making Room for Well-Being
Be a good friend to yourself.
- If your kid gets caught up saying negative things about themselves,
encourage self-kindness by asking them what they would say to a friend
in the same situation.
- The same goes for you: We often beat ourselves up as parents, but
what would a good friend say to you? What would you say to your friend?
- Try creating a gratitude list together to give you a fresh perspective and focus.
Get help when you need it.
- You won't always know how to help your kid. Think about who could
help fill in the gaps -- look to family, friends, teachers, and others
for help. Sometimes having another adult take over removes the tricky
parent/kid homework battle dynamic and lets you go back to just being a
parent.
- Communicate with the school about how things are going, leading with
positives first. Everyone's doing their best, AND it's important for
teachers to know what's working and not working for your kid so they can
get the help they need.
Use movement and humor.
- Sometimes we just need to move our bodies. Physical activity can
lift our spirits and get our minds refreshed for learning. Try a
lunchtime block walk or a 5-minute dance party to help everyone reset
and bring new energy to the day.
- Finding the funny right now is helpful on every front, including
learning and well-being. Be silly, make wacky connections, come up with
crazy answers so your kids correct you -- whatever works!
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